When families blow up it is usually the men lighting the fuses.
Sorry guys, but it’s true. Not that all women are perfect wives and mothers, but let’s face facts. I haven’t looked up the stats but I know far too many divorced couples and the vast majority were torn apart by the male in the relationship. Christian or not, the divorce rate is the same, I hear. So, men, let’s stand up like men and at least acknowledge that we have fallen short of who we, as a gender, were supposed to be as husbands and fathers.
What do we want from ourselves, expect of ourselves? Who do we want to be? Wait, let me answer that question! I can speak for the average man because I am one. I think it boils down to three things and the first might really say it all.
Number one, the average man wants to be Honorable, someone people can trust. We want our word to mean something, whether it’s the vows we take when we get married or what we tell our friends we will do. We want to be known as a man people can count on, someone who follows through, stays the course, no matter what adversities we have to face along the way.
Second, we want to be Strong. Not pick up a car strong(although that would be cool), but we want to be able to provide for and protect the people we love, to the point where we would give our lives for them if necessary. We want to be strong enough to take the bullet for them. This could really be a subset of number one. Because an honorable man would provide for and protect those that he loves.
Thirdly, and perhaps another subset of one; We want to be Wise. We want to be the husband or dad or friend that our loved ones look to for the answers to life’s toughest problems, someone people can trust to show them the way when they are lost.
Now, there is a fourth, but it really is not a personality trait unless you call it pride. Men want respect. Men want other people, especially other men, to know that they are number one, two, and three. We want to be known as honorable, strong, and wise.
Those first three things are good attributes to hope for and aim for but many of us have given up on being that kind of man. We have been the opposite so many times. We have fallen short again and again, and for so long now–that being a truly good man seems like a pipe-dream. We have settled for the mediocrity(or worse) of our manhood.
Here’s the thing, and this may be news to many of us…it’s not too late. We have this day, today, to take a step towards being better men. One step could lead to another, you never know.
It’s time we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try again, because God wants to teach our kids and grandkids through us. He wants us to honor our wives to help them grow into the force that they can be for Him. Our friends need us to be the example God knows we can be with his help.
The past is gone. We can’t change the jerk we were yesterday, but we can change him today. We have to let the past–pass. Let it go. Let’s not forget; our past failures are paid for in full by Jesus on the cross. Yeah, we messed up–maybe a lot, maybe really badly. We missed our target, but here’s the thing… there is another bullet in the chamber. We can take aim again, and shoot ourselves towards who God wants us to be. We won’t be perfect. We may miss the target again. Then we reload, aim carefully, and shoot ourselves toward Him once more.
We won’t run out of bullets; That’s grace.